Responding to Toxic People

Sometimes you want to reprove the people directly and bluntly, who need to hear it the most, but those people are the least likely to do anything to change - but rather with their toxic, lying, manipulative personalities, they tend to turn around and attack anyone who dares to point out how they are hurting others and destroying lives. They will twist things around as if the person attempting to defend themselves against such harmful behavior is the aggressor and they are the victim, even to the point of resorting to making false accusations, projecting their own weaknesses as though they are others' faults.

Some of these toxic people, with their histrionics and effective manipulation tactics are VERY convincing because they have made a lifetime of this practice and get better at it with each episode, so it's sometimes really difficult to discern who is telling the truth in any given altercation. It gets to the point where you will start to develop trust issues, not only with the parties involved, but with people in general, because once you become a victim of manipulation, ensnared in lies, deceptions, half-truths, omissions of pertinent facts and character assassination towards you and those in your circle of family and close friends, it becomes difficult to trust anyone or their motives anymore.

At this point, the only things I can offer is:

First to be honest with yourself, with all your flaws, weakness and background. Don't beat yourself up over your past though, especially if you have changed, repented and moved on.

Second, know yourself. This is very important and helps you stay grounded, especially when a toxic person is using a technique called gaslighting to mess with your mind and make you think YOU are the one who is crazy. It helps to keep a daily journal and include not only the significant happenings in your life, but what people said, what you said and what your feelings were at the time. I have kept a daily journal for many years, but I wish I had been more faithful in times where I had the most difficulties in my life... where writing those thoughts down would have been helpful in, if nothing more, allowing me to know myself better.

Finally, the only other thing I can offer is to keep God in your life and not to become bitter. Don't become like the person who is attacking you. One of the best ways to serve God is to provide service and be compassionate towards other people, even if they have wronged you. This is THE best medicine to heal a spiritually and emotionally broken soul. You may never gain gratitude or even acknowledgement from those you have provided service to and in many cases they will even use your acts of service and sacrifice as ammunition in cases against you. Don't let that stop you though because God knows what you did, you know what you did and those who are in tune with listening to God will know who you truly are.