The Bullet - Part Two

            Timmy woke up to the sound of chirping, but it wasn’t that annoying killdeer.  His sense of smell returned with a sharp odor, but it wasn’t expended nitrocellulose; it was rubbing alcohol.  He turned toward the direction of the chirping and was captivated by the green illuminated line that peaked in sync with the chirping.  He felt a hand, but it wasn’t Mom’s - Dad!  He retracted as he turned to face him, but Dad gripped tighter and pulled Timmy closer.  Dad’s eyes were red and puffy. 

      Dad turned away and quietly spoke, “He’s waking up, go get the nurse, Sandy.”    When Timmy realized Dad was talking to Mom, he turned his gaze toward her.  She indulged for a moment, smiling through her tears at Timmy before she floated out of the room.

      “Mom is pretty, even when she is crying,” Timmy thought. 

      Breaking the silence, Dad spoke through sobs, “We… thought you weren’t… gonna make it.” 

      “I’m sorry I’ve been so harsh at times… I figured it was for your own good,” he continued. 

      Dad’s eyes locked with Timmy’s, “I love you, son.”  He gripped Timmy’s hand a little tighter, “forgive me?”

      Timmy nodded and felt tears welling in his own eyes and briskly blotted them with his bandaged arm.  It was like somebody else speaking as Timmy blurted, “I’m sorry I got into your drawer!”

      Dad’s face went pale.  Timmy felt Dad’s hand get clammy and he loosened his grip.  The wicker chair crackled and creaked under Dad’s full weight as he fell back into it and stared blankly at the medical instruments, wiping sweat from his mouth.  He realized Timmy had discovered his secrets. 

      Timmy fidgeted, hoping that Mom or a doctor or the nurse would step into the room to break the sickening tension that filled the air.  As Dad’s nostrils flared, Timmy had a sinking feeling, as though Dad were about to reach for his pocket knife… yet deep inside Timmy felt another emotion stirring - giddiness.

      Dad avoided eye contact, which made Timmy wonder what other secrets he was hiding.  As he contemplated treasures he had yet to discover, Timmy trembled like a dry alcoholic walking past the open door of a tavern; being blasted by an unanticipated waft of spirits.

The Bullet - Part One

This is part one of a two-part short story that I wrote for Creative Writing. In order to view part two, go to that page on the blog.

         The Rural Idaho soil burned his knees through the flimsy iron-on patches of his K-Mart specials as he knelt, stunned… still clutching the rock he had just used to smash the rifle cartridge that blew up in his face.  He mentally inventoried every part of his body from the top of his head to the tips of his toes and from what he could ascertain (aside from being deafened), he felt unscathed. He could still hear the “kee-ew… kee-ew!” of an obnoxious killdeer off in the distance over the persistent ringing in his right ear, so he knew he wasn’t completely deaf.  It was a close call.

            One of Dad’s repetitious admonishments came fresh to his mind; in fact it was just yesterday that he regurgitated the hollow warning over some relatively benign activity (well, compared to pounding a bullet with a rock, anyway), “Timmy, if you don’t be careful, you’ll never make it ‘til your ninth birthday!”  But he couldn’t help the way he was.  Curiosity was in his blood, but maybe this was the turning point.  Perhaps this was the lesson he needed to cure him.  This time, he felt the desire for the thrill of satisfying his curiosity flowing out of him. 

            He no longer had the desire to sneak into Dad’s sock drawer, seeking forbidden treasures, which seemed more bizarre, the deeper he excavated. Behind a mysterious cardboard box labeled: Lubricated Condoms was a smaller box, heavy for its size.  On the top was labeled 50 Rimfire Cartridges, but what attracted his attention most was the warning: “Keep out of the reach of children.”  There are few things that pique the curiosity of a little boy with an overactive mind more than a suggestion of danger.  “He’ll never notice one missing,” Timmy rationalized.  After pocketing one, he shook the box a little to fill in the empty spot and carefully replaced it before stealthily sliding the stubborn drawer shut.

            The shiny brass shell lost more of its luster with each blow.  It was satisfying, yet frustrating as the lethal instrument approached paper-thin.  It was getting to the point where it there wouldn’t be anything left to pour out the contents, if it ever came apart.  “Nothing is happening!” was his final thought before it instantly vanished, accompanied by a rude shock wave. 

Once he realized all his body parts were intact, a raucous giggle escaped his lips – partially from an adrenaline release, but also from fear.  Mom once declared to him in a philosophical manner, yet in a way a little boy could comprehend, that we ultimately gravitate towards that which we fear the most. Timmy contemplated the deep meaning of this concept and with a shrug, chuckled a little to himself, thinking that he could get used to loud noises that he once feared like rock music, motorcycles, jet planes and even explosions… provided they could give him the dose of adrenaline that he had just experienced.  It was a new sensation, but there was also another sensation that he didn’t find comfortable.  He couldn’t wrap his juvenile mind around it.

            Something wasn’t right.  The world spun around and the rock slipped from his weakening hand, landing on the ground with a dull thud.  This was the first time in his life that Timmy could not taste anything.  His inquisitive mind found it intriguing, yet disconcerting.  He could feel the gritty sand between his tongue and teeth but he couldn’t taste it, nor could he smell anything.  He longed to have his sense of smell back.  He longed to imbibe in the aroma of the perfumed cakes that Grandma sends Mom for Christmas every year; that she squirrels away in her dresser drawers.  Nothing in Mom’s territory was nearly as appealing as Dad’s sock drawer, though even hint of those cakes’ aroma would remind him of his kind and generous grandmother, which was the only compelling reason to keep coming back.  Odors had a most profound effect of triggering vivid memories in Timmy’s short life, so those perfumed cakes were most precious to him – those… and mothballs.  Those aromas provided an instant link to Grandma’s metal-clad singlewide.

Dad also had something in his sock drawer with a pleasant aroma, but the odor was not linked to any memory other than those associated with the item itself.  It was a vintage cedar cigar box with a cracked lid where Dad kept a stack of photographs. Those photos were not the kinds in the family album where Timmy recognized all the faces.  They were young women… probably Dad’s former girlfriends.  Timmy had been there many times before, delicately shuffling through the black and white photos; each time making sure to put them back exactly as he found them. 

Mom was prettier than most of the girls, but Timmy imagined what it would be like to have one of these women as his mom.  He was most infatuated by the Japanese girl.  At times, Timmy had wished he had the Japanese mom.  “If she were my mom,” Timmy thought, “at least I would know karate and I could defend myself against the bullies at school… and from Dad.”  Timmy’s unbridled thoughts took him on a wild journey.  “Would life be different if we had a different mom?” Timmy mused.  “Would she be as intelligent?” “Would Dad still be as strict and angry all the time?”  “Would I have to speak Japanese?”  “If I were never born, Mom and Dad would probably be happier and not fight so much.” 

Timmy ached to feel the love of his father.  Deep inside, he had tender feelings for Dad, like the time a chunky pair of pliers fell on his toes.  And he also felt compassion for him when he came in the door with a broken countenance.  He overheard Mom in hushed tones as they embraced, “I’m sorry you had to sell the MG,” to which Dad perked up a bit as he replied, “well, we were able to finish paying to have the baby.”  Dad reciprocated tender feelings… rarely, but Mom had enough love for everyone.

Mom was Timmy’s confidante.  She overlooked most of Timmy’s mishaps and indiscretions but Dad seemed to always find out where Timmy had been and what he had done and would yell at Mom and whip Timmy with a switch from the colossal weeping willow tree in the front yard.  Dad’s tactics were calculated for the most memorably excruciating punishments allowed by the laws of the State of Idaho.  He would send Timmy out to cut the switch.  That was one of the only times that Dad would let him use a pocket knife.  Timmy could never find the right one though.  It seemed he could never do anything right, not even pick out his own instrument of torture.  Timmy’s choice was invariably either too thick or too skimpy.  This infuriated Dad even further, so he would tromp out and carefully select the willow switch that inflicted the most pain. 

Pain… that is what Timmy was feeling.  The hot summer sun seared his scalp through his wispy platinum hair and his left wrist was throbbing, waking him up from his fallen stupor.  He grappled to get on his feet but he stumbled and fell back down.  Though it was a scorching summer day, he shivered from the cold.  The tepid liquid that spewed forth from the tender skin on his left wrist contrasted against his frigid, clammy hand.  Much of it had crusted over, caked with earthen elements but there was still a trickle seeping down and tickling his fingertips. 

Timmy felt queasy but luckily he had developed an aversion to vomiting ever since he was little, after waking up in a pile of puke.  The smell of dried barf was bad enough, but having to peel the pillow off his face in the morning was enough to dread ever going through with it again.  This is also the reason Timmy can’t eat goulash anymore. 

He swallowed hard to keep nausea in check. In a weird way this peculiar sensation was also comforting.  He was wrapped in the blanket of minimal awareness – in his own tunnel - insulated from the buffetings of the cruel world that surrounded him.  Even Dad’s willow switch couldn’t penetrate this bubble of security.  The shrill chirps from the killdeer that was once his annoying nemesis were disconnected and distant… almost pleasant, like a songbird.

The distance between the bloodied patch in the back yard where he awoke was miles from the back door where he needed to be; yet he had traveled many miles already.  His feet dangled like a dancing marionette as though they were controlled by an unseen puppeteer, guiding him in the path that he had half-consciously ventured thousands of times before – between the sheltered haven indoors, and the unpredictable world of adventure outdoors, but always safely back inside again. 

As Timmy staggered up the steps and used every ounce of strength he could muster to turn the knob, he fell into the arms of his loving mother who had sensed something wrong. 

With an ashen look on her face, she trembled as she shrieked, “What happened?” while she whisked her little man off to the bathroom to rinse the sand and mud off and to assess his injury. 

“I dunno,” Timmy muttered.

“I can’t let Dad see this,” was all he could think, “He’ll kill me!” 

He closed his eyes, knowing that Mom would take care of him.  She always did. “I’ll be all right, Mom. I just need a Band-Aid,” Timmy whispered before drifting off to sleep with his head cradled in his mother’s lap.

Salem Witch Trials Criteria?

Salem Witch Trials Criteria?

I've seen a certain "if my dog doesn't like a person, then I shouldn't trust that person" kind of meme going around the on social networking sites… like the dog has some kind of mystical instincts that humans don't have.  I am going to debunk this myth.

I've encountered a lot of dogs in my life.  Some of them like me and some of them hate me.  The same dogs that hate me like other people, yet some of the dogs that like me hate other people.  Dogs have personalities like people and as people we seem to be attracted to certain types of people while we don't care for other types of people.  You could apply the same litmus test to babies that people use for dogs. Some babies take to certain adults, while others make them cry.  It's not some magical, mystical "sixth sense" kind of thing.  Simply put, some dogs (or babies) are attracted to certain people and not others or maybe they have an unusual aversion or fear to certain people.

There could be many reasons for this aversion or fear.

One of the things that triggers a fear is when a pet's owner (or in the case of a baby, the parent) has a fear, mistrust or dislike to a certain person, so what happens is the person telegraphs that fear either verbally, non-verbally or subconsciously.  These feelings are very powerful and often underestimated.

Another reason is that the dog has had a bad experience with that person or a person with similar appearance, sound, scent or gender.

Dogs, with their varying personalities and traits, have unique behaviors.  Most dogs are intimately familiar with the family they identify with and are comfortable with them and don't bark, bite or attack them.  Some dogs are friendly with strangers, but others are aggressive with strangers.  Some are aggressive with ALL strangers, but others discriminate between which strangers they take to and which ones they don't trust or feel threatened by.

I have noticed also that dogs are aggressive or defensive depending upon circumstances.  Dogs likely have poor vision when it is getting dark and have difficulty identifying people at or after dusk and will bark or chase them.  Some dogs also get more defensive at this time because they are conditioned to be more protective during the hours of darkness.

Dogs follow instincts are subject to behaviors that are unique to dogs.  Some dogs are very territorial or possessive and if they smell scents from other dogs (or other animals) they may react negatively.  Sometimes people just stink and the unpleasant odors will cause a negative reaction.  Dogs also have patterns of behavior that if interrupted have a tendency to annoy the dog.  Most animals do not tolerate eye contact and feel defensive if you look them in the eyes for any length of time.  They take this as a challenge.  Some dogs back down but others will attack.

There are many other reasons why a dog feels uncomfortable around some people but not others.  Just because a dog doesn't like you or mistrusts you doesn't mean you are evil or have ill intent.  I would like to see this urban legend debunked once and for all, but unfortunately people will believe anything that is posted as a meme on Facebook or Pinterest and they perpetuate those feelings with their own dogs and their own families.  Let's not give in to ancient and unsubstantiated criteria similar to those used in the Salem Witch Trials, but rather let's get to know people for who they are before crucifying them, publicly humiliating them or ostracizing them based upon a silly myth.

Personalities of Different Operating Systems

I am an experienced PC user, so my MacOS was a new thing to me.  I have only used Linux for a few minutes and I was trained in Unix and even MSDOS back in the day.

I would like to give my honest assessment about the three major operating systems that currently reside on the almost all consumer computers and make a comparison to respective human personalities.

Windows
Windows is that guy that works hard, isn't overly concerned about appearance and personal flaws, but gets the job done, but is not concerned with efficiency.  Windows will eat just about anything… including junk food, with the exception of vegetables. Windows is a special needs child that is temperamental and unpredictable… not as reliable as other operating systems, but his popularity is his strong point.  Even though people are aware of his character flaws, they accept him due to his popularity and willingness to try to get along with others.  Windows has many interests, abilities and hobbies… many of which most people are unaware of, though he won't flaunt them.  We have to discover those "hidden talents" for ourselves and bring them out him.  Windows is a union worker and is very consistent in his wages and compensation expectations.  Windows has a bit of a weight problem, which he acknowledges but expects others to compensate and pick up the slack for him.  Sometimes this weight problem slows down productivity and even halts production altogether, but usually nothing that a power nap won't fix… though he has been known to need hospitalizations and may even be subject to incurable terminal illness.  Though Windows is inefficient, he is flexible and can learn many new tasks, but may need to be told over and over again how to do them.

MacOS
MacOs despises junk food and is a vegan.  She is, however, a foodie that enjoys fine wine… so she is thus difficult to please.  She is not very flexible and doesn't play nice with others, yet is extremely reliable and predictable.  She is a perfectionist that is very concerned with her weight and appearance - to a fault… so much so, that this obsession often gets in the way of productivity, but she compensates by working fast and efficiently.  She is very talented in a few areas, but not very flexible… very shallow.  She dresses with the latest fashions and loves to accessorize, however these accessories are a burden, rather than a strength… as she cannot seem to go certain places or do certain tasks without specific accessories because she is very fastidious.  She is difficult to get along with at first, but once you get to know her, you will wonder how you ever got along without her.  She has a streak of jealousy against other operating systems and has a tendency to undermine their objectives in a subversive manner.  You will love her, but you will hate her too.

Linux
Linux is the outcast that still lives in his mother's basement.  He is a conspiracy-theorist anarchist - the type who would show up to a job interview with facial tattoos and piercings and wonders why he never gets hired, so he tries his darnedest to win people over by not only pointing out his usefulness, but also by launching smear-campaigns against the other operating systems.  He will work for free with the expectation that you will also compensate in a similar manner.  While he appears to play nice with others, he overestimates his abilities and comes up short due to his limitations.  He is very flexible and can be taught many things, but he has serious disabilities when it comes to actually delivering the goods, so his promises are empty.  He compensates for this by offering alternate products and services which are either inferior or unpopular.  He is, however, dependable at what he does… whatever that is. Linux doesn't eat… he survives on drugs.

A Blast From the Past

My dad recently made the first major move (out of state) in almost 50 years, so he was downsizing significantly.  He gave me boxes and boxes of tools, building supplies and junk.  In one of these boxes I found this:

Instantly, the memories started coming back.  That was MY soldering iron that I bought with my own money… at around the age of 12 or 13.  It was not the first soldering iron that I ever owned… certainly not the first soldering iron that I had ever used either.

My first experiences with soldering were in third or fourth grade.  I was about 10 years old.  I had exceptional teachers by then who accommodated my uniqueness and did what they could to bring out my gifts and talents and even attempted to bring other students into my world of technology.  I was allowed special circumstances in exchange for getting better grades.  One of these was when the husband of one of the teachers at our very small school (not the husband of one of my teachers though) had volunteered to come to the school and spend his time and donated his materials to help me build a crystal radio from scratch.  He also taught me how to solder and he taught me the resistor color code, which I memorized and never forgot.  This mentor, whom I will always be thankful for though I don't even remember his name, had changed the course of a young child's life and maybe he didn't even realize it.

I got my own soldering iron when I was 11 years old.  It was quite different in quality and design as the one pictured though.  I received the soldering iron as a gift, conditionally.  I was to use it responsibly - which meant that I was to handle it carefully and use it ONLY for the purposes intended and to NEVER leave it plugged in unattended.  I held to my end of the deal.  This was yet another thing that changed the way I did things and helped me channel my passions more effectively.  I used that soldering iron for many years, basically until it had worn out.  I used it for soldering components in projects, but I also used it for desoldering electronic components of electronic circuit boards from old radios and other devices so that I could use the parts for my own creations.  I experimented with electronics every day.  It was my passion!

The soldering iron pictured above has yet another backstory.

There were two "general stores" in the neighborhood where I grew up.  We were allowed to go to one of the stores, but the other was off limits because it was in Marietta.  Anyone who is familiar with Marietta, knows that it is considered a dangerous neighborhood.  I had to learn this the hard way on several occasions, but I will save those events for other chapters. Suffice it to say that we were not allowed to go to Baker's Store… in Marietta.  But we did anyway.

One of the reasons why we liked going to Baker's was that they sold things that the other general store did not sell, like nails and tools.  There was a tool rack, or table that sold cheap tools… I mean cheap tools.  This  predated the quintessential "Dollar Store" but it was simply it's own store on a single table. Everything on that particular table was a dollar (or something close to a dollar).  I bought lots of tools from that table.  They were all junk.  One of the claws on a claw hammer that I bought broke off when I was trying to use it to pry or hit something.  It was made out of cast iron.  There was another tool I thought was cool.  It was a shovel that had a multitude of tools built into it.  The problem was that when I went to dig with it, it bent.  I lost that shovel, only to unbury the rusted remains many years later (after we had moved back to the property with my own wife and children) when we were digging for a garden.  That was found in the same general area where I had built my own "fort" - which was yet another passion of mine as a youth… and this affords yet another chapter in my book(s).

Then there was the soldering iron.  I bought this piece of junk when my original soldering iron started failing.  I didn't like this one.  It got very hot (so hot you could see it glowing red), which is not a good thing when you are working with delicate electronics.  It was also unwieldy, which scared me.  I had gotten burned numerous times already by my first soldering iron and quickly recovered from the surface burns, but I feared that I would get a serious burn from this soldering iron.  I only used this one in pinch (in other words, when I couldn't find a better one in my messy room).

Somehow, this tool ended up in my dad's hands… in his shop filled with a seemingly limitless supply of tools.  More than likely, I was irresponsible with this tool and got it confiscated.  I probably neglected to put it away… or maybe I just abandoned it because I didn't like it.  In either case, I ended up with it.  I am not sentimental enough to keep it, but I am sentimental enough to write the story behind it.  So today, likely within minutes of finishing this story, I will destroy this soldering iron.  It is in the queue for recycling.  The cord alone could fetch a few cents worth of copper… which is about all this tool was ever worth.

Scholarship Ideas…

Anyone who has gone through the process of trying to pay for education, knows that there are various ways to fund (or not to fund… as the case may be) a post-high school educational program.  There are many options: mainly loans, grants and scholarships.  Scholarships come in many forms. Some of them are full-ride sports or academic scholarships, while there are others that conditionally gift you a small amount of money in exchange for writing an essay, performing some kind of service or meeting other requirements… or simply by applying because you "deserved" the scholarship based upon an arbitrary factor (say, the color of one's skin, gender, age, ethnic group or something that has little or nothing to do with the willingness or ability to learn).

Most of us are not fortunate enough to earn a full-ride scholarship, so we have to scrape up the funds from various sources, ultimately having to rely on loans.  There just isn't enough scholarship money to spread around and those who need the scholarships the most seem to be those who may not qualify for them.

I have a list of a few suggested scholarships that I would like to see:

The Sober Student Scholarship
This would be more of a loan conversion.  The student applies for the loan at the beginning of his/her tenure in school.  The loan has a cap amount per year or semester in college.  The loan is unconditional besides the conventional standards for getting any type of credit.  The conversion to a grant/scholarship is based upon the student's pledge to remain sober until graduation.  The pledge is signed by the student, who not only submits to random drug testing, but criminal and school disciplinary records and personal references are also checked to ensure compliance of remaining drug and alcohol free.  This scholarship has a two-fold purpose: 1) It ensures that students are not getting into trouble and wasting their time with drugs and alcohol.  2) If you have money for drugs and alcohol, you certainly don't need to receive financial assistance for school.

School of Hard Knocks Scholarship
Most students apply for college right out of high school and have not endured many of the things that help make us more mature and learn how to live in the world.  This scholarship is for those who have learned many things on their own (no, computer gaming doesn't count).  The student writes an essay about the things he/she has learned without having the privilege of a formal education and a panel may approve or disapprove the application based upon the criteria.  Examples of such skills and knowledge might include: repairing your own car, remodeling rooms in a home, volunteering for the Red Cross or CERT, taking care of children or an aging parent, performing in a rock band or a play, working on a farm or coaching a children's soccer team.  There are many other things that could be considered, but keep in mind that this scholarship requires meaningful past experiences that might otherwise require special training or classes.

The Mid-Life Change Scholarship
Many adults find that after a number of years, they find it necessary to go back to school because of a career change.  For a number of reasons (career obsolescence, injury/disability, displacement… even burnout), middle-aged people find themselves wanting to change career or being forced to do so.  The requirements for this scholarship are that the potential student is at least 35 years old and has worked at least 10 years.  It isn't necessary for the student to have worked the same job or even the same type job though.  Requirements for this scholarship are that the student provides proof of age and job history.

The Americana Scholarship
This could also be called the anti-Affirmative Action scholarship or non-protected class scholarship.  This scholarship is granted to those who are not eligible for other arbitrary scholarships that are based solely on the color of skin, gender, ethnic group, disability, national origin or any other factors that are usually covered under Affirmative Action or scholarships based upon similar criteria.  The student must submit a form indicating demographic information that qualifies him/her for the loan.

The Non-Covered Veteran Scholarship
There are many programs that provide educational assistance or rehabilitative training such as GI Bills, VA Disability Rehabilitation and other educational assistance.  Some veterans may have not meet the requirements or may not have had the foresight or ability to invest into the GI bill or other programs while on active duty.  This scholarship is available when other means have been attempted and exhausted.  There would also be scholarships for those wishing to extend their education beyond or outside of the scope of what would be authorized for such programs (for instance, graduate school or additional classes/training not included in their individual degree program).

The Good Citizen Scholarship
A criminal background check and courts record search could reveal the qualifications for this scholarship.  This scholarship is given to those with a clean record, with the exception of allowing for one minor traffic offense.  The student applies and gives authorization for a criminal and courts records search of all residences for the entire life of said student.

The Past Academic Excellence Scholarship
The student provides proof of exemplary grades in any learning institution.  Proof might include certificates, transcripts or special awards.  This may also include extracurricular merits such as sports achievements, plays, mayoral recognition or other accomplishments that denote extraordinary performance or any indication of rising above mediocrity.

Accomplishment in Literary Works Scholarship
The student submits several works of literary accomplishment to apply of this scholarship.  A panel reads those works and judges them based upon the merits of literacy and/or creativity.  Examples of these works may include: Poetry, songwriting, novels, non-fiction, journals, plays/screenplays, scripts, blogs or documentaries.  Submissions should be in tangible, written form and may include a CD or DVD showcasing how those works were made into a final media product (if applicable).

The Unique Skills Scholarship
A student submits an outline that showcases a unique skill or talent that he/she has developed to a panel and must demonstrate that unique skill for the panel for approval.  The demonstration may be in person or by sending a DVD showcasing the skill.  Such skills may include: riding a unicycle, juggling, singing,  standup comedy, debate, mountain climbing, cartooning, coin-snatching or just about any other unique talent that may or may not normally lead to academic scholarships.  The student may not have already received any type of scholarship for that unique skill.  The skill does not necessarily need to be anything of a bizarre nature, but just above and beyond normal skills.  For instance, someone applying for the singing scholarship must be able to have above average vocal ability.

The Traveller Scholarship
An applicant either keeps a journal or writes an essay in outline format describing details of a trip.  The trip may be either domestic travel or international.  Whether in journal or essay form, the document must include photos and descriptions of those photos.  Submissions are accepted based upon readability and literacy as well as being informative and entertaining.

The Good Health Scholarship
The applicant must be currently in good physical condition, not excessively overweight based upon BMI charts and/or body fat measurements and have established an exercise routine and dietary regimen for a minimum of 6 months.  A chart showing cardio as well as other approved calisthenics for the past 6 months (or more) is submitted with the application along with current weight, height and body fat measurements.  A dietary schedule for the past 6 months is also submitted.

The Non-Smoker Scholarship
A person submits a form that states that he/she has not smoked within the past 6 months.  Blood or urine tests may be necessary to confirm that the applicant is tobacco free.  Similar to the Sober Student Scholarship, the two-fold purpose for this scholarship include: 1) Promoting healthful living to the student as well as those living or riding in vehicles with him/her.  2) If a student can afford tobacco products, he/she does not need financial assistance for education.

The Non-Ink/Body-Hardware Scholarship
Similar to the Non-Smoker Scholarship and the Sober Student Scholarship, this scholarship promotes living within ones means and healthful body attitudes, but it also encourages students to maintain a professional body image by refraining from tattoos and excessive piercings.  A full-body photo (front and back) of the student in reasonable swimwear  as well as a headshot with profiles (both left and right) must be submitted as well as a pledge to refrain from tattoos and body piercings for the duration of school until graduation and upon graduation the student is encouraged to continue ink and piercing free by periodic letters and/or email subscription.  Female students are permitted to have one piercing in the ear lobe and to wear reasonably professional earrings or posts.

The Good Driver Scholarship
Students must be licensed drivers and have a minimal infractions or accidents on their driving record.  A maximum of one traffic citation and one parking ticket are allowed - provided that those tickets have been cleared (paid for).  Drivers must pledge that they will not text and drive or talk on their cell phone while behind the wheel and will not drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs.  Applicants must submit a current driver's license, insurance company information and a release for courts records.

The Frugality Scholarship
Going to school costs a lot of money.  Many students run into trouble with finances because they do not know how to budget their money or they squander their student funds on things that are unnecessary.  To reward students for being good stewards over their finances, the Frugality Scholarship is awarded.  Potential students must keep track of all their incoming funds and make a detailed and accurate accounting for all their expenditures for a minimum of 6 months prior to applying for the scholarship (one year for subsequent scholarships).  Receipts are required for all purchases over $20.00 and originals or copies are submitted along with the scholarship application.   Students who consistently make unwise purchases are not eligible to receive the scholarship.

The Good Idea Scholarship
Upon submitting an original invention or idea that could improve life or society, the student receives a monetary scholarship for each idea submitted (with a reasonable cap).  A drawing, essay outline and/or prototype must be presented for each scholarship applied for.  Ideas and inventions remain the property of the applicant and review panel members must sign a non-disclosure agreement so that applicants can be able to trust scholarship panel with their proprietary ideas.

Well, that's it for now.  I have run out of ideas, but you can get the gist of this by reading this.  Someday, I hope to be in a position to where I can donate money to academics, and if that day ever comes, you can bet that some of these scholarships will be on that list of donations.

Toilet seat up… or seat down?

This is probably the closest I will get to "potty talk" that I will get on any of my blogs.  I debated as to whether to post this on my official blog or my "hidden" blog that doesn't get posted to Facebook because of the possible controversy.  But then you will find out that this is a little thing… or a big thing, depending on how you look at it.

First off, let me say that I didn't even know this was an issue… a point that is argued over, and likely has been since the invention of the modern toilet.  Naively, I was probably into my marriage for several months or maybe even a year or more before I had even realized that there are couples out there that fight over whether the seat should be left up or down.  Obviously we weren't one of those couples, because I leave the seat at whatever position I last used it and up until then I had never even given it much though.  See, I, like most men do not see a toilet seat as a crisis.  If the seat needs to be lifted, we lift the seat.  If the seat needs to be lowered, we lower it.  I can speak for many of us in that it is something we just don't think about.  It's like when we are driving.  If we need to stop the car, the foot automatically goes to the brakes.  We don't sit there and deliberate about it.  We don't argue as to which pedal needs to be pushed.  We just stop the car.  The same should be true for the toilet seat.  It should never even be something that ever needs mentioning or thinking about outside the bathroom.

Now, I am just going to cut to the chase and boldly state that had the toilet seat positioning been an issue with any woman that I ever dated, it would have been a deal breaker.  You might think that I would be overreacting to a "little" thing and you would be right… it is a little thing.  That's why it would be a deal breaker and let me explain.

There are two, maybe three indicators of personality traits (none of them positive, in my opinion) as to why this would be a deal breaker for me, and it is because it says a lot about person that I would be committing my entire life to.  This may be a combination of one or two, if not all three of these:

1) The prospective partner does not have the capability to adapt to a situation or solve simple problems by herself.  I could imagine a lifelong and endless string of demands, requests and definitions of male roles: Calling me at work because the car has a flat tire and she doesn't know how to change it or want to call AAA.  Refusing to take out the garbage or mow the lawn, because that's "man's work."  Not wanting the responsibility of learning simple repairs because she might have to actually do some "dirty work."  These are the relationships where the "honey-do" lists come from.

While this may or may not be an accurate indicator, this is what I had feared and I have actually known… even dated women who would take that stance.  Needless to say, the dating didn't last any longer than the discovery of the self-imposed helplessness of the women in question.  I have to think about the future.  I was from a large family.  I knew that raising a family would be far from easy and it takes extraordinary effort from both partners to make a family a success.  For somebody to get hung up on a task so trivial as lifting or lowering the toilet seat - how is she going to manage a real crisis?

2) The prospective partner makes mountains out of molehills.  We all have faults and we all fall short of our goals and intentions.  Sometimes we screw up… big time.  On the screw-up scale, if failing to lower the toilet seat even registers, I would really hate to see where some of my other faults and flaws would fit in.  I would really hate to see how this woman would treat our children when they are trying to learn… and fail.  I shudder to even think about it.  With excessive concern about such trivial things as a toilet seat, I am sure that this woman would blow a head gasket when the child gets suspended from school… or experiments with drugs.

3) The prospective partner likes to find reasons to find fault, complain or reprimand people.  Maybe it's a power trip or maybe the woman truly is fastidious.  It's hard to say for every case.  I know people with endless lists of pet peeves.  How does a person live with a partner like that… every day?  I know I can't and won't.  That's why it would be a deal breaker.  One of the women I was dating was embarrassed to be seen with me because (among many other things) the shirts I was wearing were a couple of years out of style.  I loved my velour shirt, but apparently they had gone out of style while I had been out of the country serving a mission for our church for a year and a half.  I had not been overly conscious of styles anyway.  I loved my velour shirt!  Apparently she did not.  She even threatened to "stop seeing me" if I wore that shirt again.  Now,  I must explain that this was the first woman that I had become completely smitten with.  She was THE one.  I could not do anything to displease her, so I complied.  She even paid money out of her own pocket to buy me a shirt that wasn't so embarrassing to her.  I don't even know what ever happened to my beautiful velour shirt.  After this woman dumped me (and I don't think it was anything to do with the shirt, but it was likely something as trivial), I had vowed to never let a woman dictate to me every whim as to what I was or wasn't going to do or to wear.  It just wasn't going to happen.  The relationship would end before it even began.

Fortunately, I met a wonderful woman.  She is not perfect, but she also knows that I am not perfect either… and she doesn't react in any way whatsoever as to the position of the toilet seat.  We have argued about silly things, but we never had an issue about whether the toilet seat should be left up or down.  We did, however, determine early in our marriage how the toilet paper was to be mounted on the holder (over the top, of course), but she was able to explain rationally why this was important - and it made sense to me.

Why Bother?

In the process of saving up for equipment and educational ventures, I have been dabbling in recycling as a means of income.  This is not a big money make for me… in fact, after I take a load in and get my money for it, the movie line from "Napoleon Dynamite" (after he counts up his money he earned from working a day at a chicken farm) comes back to me: "That's like a dollar an hour!"  I have not sat down and counted up the hours that I have spent procuring items, dismantling things, stripping and clipping wires, sorting, hauling and moving things around - nor do I put a price on the injury… the blood that I have lost and the bruised I get from working with sharp tools and heavy and awkward objects.  It's all calculated into the cost of doing business.

I found it particularly disheartening to discover that the place that I have been bringing my recycling materials has essentially reneged on me as far as some of the items they had planned on paying money for recycling.  For many months, they have been telling me that they are "gearing up" to be a full-service recycling center and will recycle plastics and cardboard among other things that other centers do not pay money for.  I called them yesterday and they said, once again, that they will be recycling plastics "really soon."  The last time I called them was in October and they said the same thing.  Before that, it was sometime in the springtime.  They admitted on the phone that when they do recycle plastics, they would only pay for it in large quantities (something like 3 tons), but they would have drop bins to donate it for free.  They also will accept cardboard for free as well.  

This was quite a blow to me because I had been saving up plastics for many months now… meticulously removing any metal, rubber or other impurities that could interfere with the recycling process or devalue the material.  I have been saving bins, boxes and buckets of scrap plastic for all these months and this stuff has been cluttering our space in my shop, our sheds and even in our kitchen… during the holidays even!  It has been a real pain in the butt to save up all this stuff, only to realize that it is essentially worthless to me.  

The second option was to take my plastics to the place where I had been taking it: to Relectronics.  This is a nonprofit organization that recycles electronic equipment and sells the scrap to various recycling ventures - basically what I have been doing for the past 13 or 14 years or so, only they have access to industries that have more buying power.  

So as a means to just get this clutter out of my space, I loaded up our minivan (pretty much to overfilling) with bins, boxes and buckets of scrap plastic for the purpose of just donating it to Relectronics.  I got to the place and nobody was there.  The shades were drawn and there was a "closed"sign on the windows.  It didn't appear that it was just closed for the day though.  The loading dock was cleared off and the plastics dumpster was not there anymore.  There was a metal recycling dumpster there - probably waiting to be picked up by the local recycling company.  

I was NOT going to drive home with that load of plastic.  I looked up the number for the garbage dump that also offers recycling of certain items.  I asked the woman who answered the phone if they recycled plastics and she said, "We accept plastics that are coded 1-7."  In other words, none of this stuff was considered recyclable… or worth recycling.  I drove there anyway and dumped the entire load into the bins that go to the landfill and paid… PAID $7.00 to get rid of this stuff… materials that can actually be worth money and worth recycling.

As for the cardboard… I had been saving cardboard for months also, under the speculative hope of being paid for my materials.  Recyclables are actually worth money.  Apparently, there are no recycling facilities in this area that pay money for them though.  What I find ironic is that recently there was a ban placed on plastic bags in a (mostly symbolic) gesture to get people to buy and reuse grocery bags.  This ban doesn't even make any sense to those who do a little investigating and thinking beyond the surface. 

The garbage dump does accept cardboard free of charge though… however it would be more advantageous for people who are over 7-feet tall to be able to reach the top of the dumpsters.  

All my efforts were in vain.  All my plastic ended up at the garbage dump anyway.  I would have been better off to just be throwing it all in the garbage can all along!  So now I am adopting a new attitude:  "Just throw it away!"  In the end, when it comes to recycling, if it does not pay or if you have to pay to get rid of it, then why bother?  

Education - What's In It For Me?

I just read an article about the worst paying college majors.  It was interesting and informative.  Some of them are degrees that my family members have gotten or are contemplating getting.  This is rather depressing.  While there are other factors affecting employment besides the degree itself, the numbers are a fair representation of what is going on.  Hold this thought because I want to go launch into something that I have been thinking a lot about lately because higher education has been on my mind due to my own career interests.  I will get back to interpreting (in part) this article.

Let me start out by asserting that we are getting education all wrong... doing things for the wrong reasons entirely.  In recent decades, getting an education has been all about procuring a fancy slip of paper that proves that we attended an educational institution, thus meeting all their requirements to earn that degree.  The degree itself is a commodity.  For some, the value of what is learned or how it was accomplished is immaterial.  For all anybody could be concerned or care, you could have cheated your entire way through school and still have procured that slip of paper.  In other words, the content wasn't as important as the credentials written on the paper and the accompanying transcripts: GPA, school attended and name of degree.  Human Resource departments tend to cue in on those things.

A time or two in my life, I have encountered a person who was bragging about his or her degree and I asked an uncomfortable question: "What did you learn?"  I don't ask this question anymore thought.  I just talk with them for awhile... pick their brains.  Sometimes people actually do come away from their college with valuable skills and useful information.  Sometimes, however, they simply get a degree.

Now, before I get accused of loathing education or being uneducated, I must explain that I absolutely love learning.  I love being in a classroom and I have a stack of certificates, diplomas, whatever that prove I sat in a classroom or spent my time and money filling in the blanks to earn those certificates.  I have more classroom time and credits than the average bachelor's degree holder.  What do I say to that?  Big deal!  After all those classroom hours, I can say with a high degree of confidence that I have learned more outside the classroom than I have in a formal learning environment.  The reason for this is not because the institution is in any way flawed, but because of my burning desire to learn.  I have forgotten a great deal of what I have learned in formal school settings, but what I have retained are things that I have found to be relevant and useful... especially in everyday life.

At this point, you might be wondering what the heck I am getting at.  Thanks for wondering.  Let me explain.  See, the educational vehicle is flawed.  The manner that we acquire our education is not very efficient.  I like to refer to this as the "Costco Principle."  Costco sells in bulk and they are very effective at what they do: selling products.  Just as universities are very good at what they do: selling products (or degrees).  They sell a product as they would a commodity.  They don't build careers or help you carve out a useful niche for you.  They simply sell you a bill of goods.  You will notice that when you go to Costco, they provide you with a list of products that they want to sell you.  You have the choice to either buy them at their discounted rate, or do without.  You have a very limited amount of options.  Here's the kicker (and how they are able to sell products that you wouldn't necessarily have boughten otherwise): it's in the product bundling.  Say I want to buy Pringles in bulk.  They have two popular varieties in the package and one less popular variety.  In order to get the discounted rate, you have to buy the whole package.  You have to tolerate and either eat the kind that is less popular or get rid of it.  That is the same principle behind a university education.  Educators will sell you on the idea that you are becoming a more well-rounded student by taking an art history or English literature class, but that is not the real agenda.  Most students will loathe these classes that are required for the sake of the degree, but will get through them by meeting the minimum requirements to get their desired grade.  If the class were optional, very few students would attend the class.  This is how it solely benefits the institution (or the staff in that institution).  In order for a university to be accredited, they have to provide a wide variety of classes - even those that are less popular or relevant to getting a job in the 21st century.  They will further try to sell you on the idea by instilling concepts like "critical thinking" and "being well adjusted" and other nonsense.  Critical thinking has nothing to do with being forced to take classes you wouldn't have otherwise chosen, and most students will gain very little out of these classes besides a few credits to work toward their ultimate goal - a degree.  A majority of these students will do brain flush at the end of the class, never to revisit those subjects again.  The class was simply having to endure an unpleasant episode of their scholastic experience: a traumatic event - which will be blocked from their memory.

Why on earth would we possibly have to take classes that have little or no academic or career value then?  The answer is simple, but it takes a little explaining.  In order for the educational institution to be accredited, it is necessary to provide these classes that have little or no relevance to any degree in question.  It is a self-serving venture.  If such classes were not compulsory, then voluntary attendance would be low and either: a) the professors would get less pay or b) the classes would cease to exist due to lack of interest, which would mean that a university or community college would lose their accreditation.  The reason (which wanders into the arena of speculation on my part) why those requirements for accreditation exist in the first place is to benefit the world of academia, or simply put it provides jobs for those who have gotten degrees from that were essentially worthless in the corporate world.  Who else would hire an Art History major, except for maybe a museum?  How many museums are there?  Exactly.  So in order to justify the need for the class or the degree, it becomes mandatory to include in your degree a choice of electives that have little or no relevance to your degree or anything practical in the world outside the realms of academia.

So that brings me back to my thoughts on the article about the worst paying degrees.  What can be done to even the playing field?  What can be done to make these degrees more attractive to employers?  Finally, why don't universities apprise students at the onset about their lack of employability and low wages once they graduate?  This goes back to the fact that schools aren't selling jobs or careers, but they are selling their product: a degree.  I have a solution to this problem and this directly correlates to a school that I am gearing up to attend.  They don't simply churn out graduates and leave them out in the cold upon gradation - with a load of student loans to pay off.  There are schools out there that actually sell careers.  Why?  Because their success rate is dependent upon the results of their students.   Many HR reps blindly hire based upon university ranking or reputation (say if the school is what is considered an "Ivy League" school).  These schools rely on the factor that it is difficult just to get into the school, so they only take the best of the best anyway.  So just having "Harvard" under your name is a shoo-in for many employers.  No thought is taken for performance, achievements or accomplishments or abilities other than academic honors.  In my opinion, this is a risky and dangerous endeavor for an employer.  On the other hand, as an employer, wouldn't you rather have a person come to you that is already highly proficient in a subject with well-honed, marketable skills?  The other thing that I was attracted to was the way a degree is earned.  There isn't a plethora of unnecessary or irrelevant classes that the student is required to attend.  It is most efficient in that way.  The student is not spending time and money on classes that have little or nothing to do with his or her career, yet is still able to walk away with a university degree!

I believe that what we're seeing in establishments of secondary education is the influence of the homeschool community.  If administered properly, homeschool is very efficient and students learn much more and retain much more than students in conventional public school.  Why do I think that is so?  Many homeschool teachers (mostly parents) understand that the vehicle of education has become flawed because educators try to squeeze in so much extraneous fluff and inject an ulterior agenda into what could have been a well-rounded and meaningful education consisting of core curricula.  Successful homeschoolers understand that core curriculum is the key to education, but it is taught in a way that makes "real-world" sense.  For instance, we're not just thrown a bunch of meaningless numbers and statistics to work with for math, but given projects that are manifold in purpose - say, an engineering project like building a structure.  You would have to learn math, economics, environmental science, English and fabrication skills in the process from end to finish.  You might even end up learning about the history of architecture as a bonus.

In my adult lifetime, I have seen an obvious transformation in the academic community.  Little more than 30 years ago, homeschool was unheard of and likely not practiced as a primary source of education.  Now, it is widely practiced and accepted and many colleges and even universities are seeing the quality of students that are emerging from the homeschooling community.  The advent of the Internet is another indispensable resource.  It can be used for more than just copy/pasting/cheating that happens ever so often in public school settings.  Information is literally free of charge in many cases and you can virtually get a quality education solely from articles, essays and online tutorials.  The free exchange of information is fueled by advertising giants that pay a pittance for the hard work of individuals that freely post their knowledge online.  Never forget the value of books (I mean tangible, paper, heavy types that you check out from the library or buy at Barnes and Noble).  We live in an age where we can learn almost anything and everything without ever having to invest a dime in a formal education or have to be accepted into a favored elite institution.

That being said, I still like the environment of a formal classroom.  There are many reasons why I prefer this setting.  First, many people when choosing a career of choice do not have a clue where to start or what to look for - where to concentrate their learning.  Secondly, in many schools you get hands on training with industry-standard equipment and facilities that can only be available in a university setting.  An individual simply cannot afford the facilities and equipment required to get this necessary tangible experience.  Finally, there is more to a public classroom setting than just lectures, books, facilities and equipment.  The interaction between students and instructors and between peer students (and subsequent networking) is invaluable in building a successful career.  You can learn a lot online, but you often do it alone.  You are this lone genius sitting in your home with ideas, plans and dreams... but with nowhere to go.  That is where I have been for the past several years.  I have learned a lot and have dreams and plans and million-dollar ideas, but it's always the same... crickets chirping.

So when you go to school, think about a couple of things: 1) Where do you want your education to take you?  What do you want to get out of it?  Forget about filling in the blanks to simply get that degree... think about your ultimate goal for what you want to accomplish in your career and focus on the things that will get you there.  If a university education is what will do it, go for it!  2) Will you love your chosen career or are you doing it simply for the love of money?  Job satisfaction is a major benefit that outweighs monetary compensation.  Sure, you should look at something where you will be able to support yourself and your family, so rule out things that would not be marketable, yet keep those in mind for a serious hobby.  Somewhere along the line you either have to learn what you love and follow that dream or you have to learn to love what you do no matter what it is - otherwise you live a life of misery and disillusionment.

Sadly, I will admit that most of my career options so far have not brought me much satisfaction.  I have blindly chosen many options that have not only led to dissatisfaction, but were not very marketable skills.  Part of this has been due to the changing climate of technology.  The things that applied when I was first starting my education are mostly obsolete by now.  That brings up a  third thing that I will only touch on: be prepared for a lifetime of learning and reinventing your career.  I am excited about this next phase of my life and the education that I am pursuing.  I am confident that I will not only learn this field with a greater depth than I would have had I started right out of high school, but I will also bring a lot into the industry with the experience that I have gained throughout my life as well as the numerous hours that I have already spent in formal classrooms and with informal training.  My advice to anyone is to never let an opportunity for learning pass you by.  So here I go with the next few years of intense training and learning.  I'm going to love it!

Addendum:  I just wanted to come back and conclude with this idea:  Whatever venture you pursue - whether it be your career or education, do it with vigor and enthusiasm.  Get the most out of your education and it will reward you exponentially.  I have learned this by experience.  In other words, when I have not put any effort towards a job or education and have gotten very little out of it, but in some other things I have put my whole heart and soul into it and the rewards have been astronomical.