Days like today, I find myself missing my children and grandchildren. At church, I was watching the children and the interactions they were having with their parents. They grow up so fast... as if it was a passing dream. It's been almost 30 years since I became a parent and the time has slipped swiftly by. Fortunately, I have many photos, videos, audio recordings and I have written about things we have done as a family or things that our children have done so I can have a tangible connection. We've also kept special things that our family members have made, as these are most precious.
One of the things I have done throughout the years (and I have made somewhat of a side business of it) is preserving, archiving and sharing these treasures. I would like to offer a bit of advice to those who are starting out in their families and maybe some help for those like me who like to savor those memories, yet have regrets about not preserving anything tangible. The first part is for those starting out in their families:
1) Take photos, lots of them. Take a camera everywhere. If you use your phone camera, learn how to transfer the photos on a more permanent device and do so frequently.
2) Take audio recordings of significant phone messages, family gatherings and so forth. Sometimes, a birthday or Mother's Day greeting can mean so much when played back years later. Record vocal performances as well... no matter how technically flawed you believe the performance is.
3) Don't forget to take video recordings of children playing, school events or major life events. At the time, you may think these moments are kind of silly, but years later they are priceless.
4) Save letters and emails from family members. You may want to scan them and save them digitally so you don't have boxes of papers taking up attic space or that get tossed when you are cleaning house.
5) Keep a daily journal or at least write about some of the more significant happenings in your life. Be factual and include details about the events as well as your feelings and directly quote what people said. Your memory isn't as reliable as you think it is, however the things you write now are indelible.
6) Have everything archived digitally and in formats that are "future proof." For instance, save documents in an easily recoverable text format and photos as JPEGs. Save videos to DVD and audio to WAV format and/or CDs and don't get rid of your DVD player or device with an optical drive just because you watch all your movies on cable or online now. I would recommend an older computer away for that specific purpose, even though you think it will become obsolete. Keep in mind that obsolescence is merely an industry fabrication - a ruse designed to keep you buying new products.
7) Keep copies of those archived files in a separate location, other than your home. My recommendation is to have several copies in different formats and different locations. Your primary location is at the home. Frequently back up your computer to an external hard drive. Additionally, back up your files to archive quality optical disks (DVD-ROM media) and seal them up and have them kept by a trusted friend or family member. Also, copy all your files over to an external hard drive and keep it in a safe that is in a separate location than your house... maybe in a briefcase that can be grabbed in case of evacuation. Finally, if you are in such a financial position, back up your files online, but don't under any circumstances upload materials that could be compromised for the purpose of identity theft or cause embarrassment for you if hacked.
And advice for those who regret not preserving these things:
1) Start now. Ask (beg pester or bargain if you have to) family members who have taken photos, videos or have other items of sentimental value that you can copy and carefully and respectfully copy them for yourself.
2) Write down memories that you have. Don't worry about trying to keep a chronological record because it will drive you crazy and you will get frustrated and give up. The beauty of word-processing is that you can go back later and edit and organize your journal as you remember details.
3) Talk to your family members and perhaps get audio recordings of their perspective of things that happened. Not only will you be able to have these documents or recordings of what happened from another perspective, but this is also good bonding time with your family members.
4) Don't be stingy with your memories. Share your stories, your pictures, videos, recordings, journals and so forth with your posterity. It may not mean much to them now, but you never know which of your children or grandchildren will crave for something tangible from you. Write heartfelt letters to your children... give them something to open up and cherish when you are gone.
5) Don't wait until you are dead to give your children and spouse meaningful things. It's good to draft up a will and keep it in a safe place, but as you advance in years don't be too attached to your possessions so that they have to wait until you are dead so they can have things. In my opinion, it is much more meaningful to give these gifts while you are alive and still have your sanity than for your family members to squabble over what they perceived were your intentions. I've seen a lot of unnecessary heartache and strained family relations over such arguments and misunderstandings. Finally, DO have a will and don't let anybody convince you to alter it out of their convenience. If you have strong feelings about what should be done with your possessions, have your will done up while you are in sound mind and preserve it in a safe place. Don't broadcast your intentions to your family members. Let them unseal it after you are gone.
